Release Date: April 13th, 2012

Let me put a disclaimer at the beginning of this review. I’m not a fan of what passes as horror these days. I haven’t seen any of the SAW films and have no desire to, I haven’t kept up with PARANORMAL ACTIVITY since the first one (I’m talking about THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT), and I have stayed at many a hostel without any incident. Ever since I was a kid, however, I’ve loved the Universal monster movies, I barely made it through THE EXORCIST unscathed when I saw it way too young, and I still find THE SHINING absolutely terrifying. I guess I just don’t understand the desire to see the uncomfortable/disgusting torture porn that accounts for most of today’s horror. Luckily, it turns out that Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard – the creative geniuses behind CABIN IN THE WOODS – were just as disillusioned with the state of horror films today as I was, and together they have fashioned a film right in my wheelhouse. Judging by the hype train that has steamrolled since its premiere at Austin’s media festival SXSW, I’m not alone in that sentiment.

This horror comedy (it has more laughs than frights, especially for students of horror) is the brainchild of Joss Whedon (the man responsible for…deep breath… BUFFY, ANGEL, FIREFLY, SERENITY, DOLLHOUSE, and the upcoming AVENGERS) and Drew Goddard (LOST, CLOVERFIELD, ALIAS, more). Goddard got his start working for Whedon on BUFFY and ANGEL, and it is clear that as they co-wrote this film they were envisioning it as an indictment of the Hollywood horror film franchises of today. And yet, CABIN also manages to glorify and exult in these horror tropes, becoming a twisted love letter. Goddard makes his dignified directorial debut, while Whedon oversaw the long and tortured production. Originally purchased and made by MGM in 2010, their subsequent bankruptcy delayed the movie until now, distributed by Lionsgate (having a monster 2012 thus far, with HUNGER GAMES still atop #1 at the box office).

My first kiss went a little like this

What makes CABIN work is how funny, scary and clever it is, and how it stands up as a movie on its own, even without all the witty criticisms of the genre. While it makes fun of the archetypes, the obvious plot twists and devices we’ve all seen a dozen times over, it also embraces them, as you’ll be able to tell by the synopsis to follow…

We open on the beautiful, virginal redheaded Dana (Kristen Connolly from…AS THE WORLD TURNS), conveniently wearing underwear, packing for an upcoming trip (don’t forget pants…). Jules (Anna Hutchison of POWER RANGERS JUNGLE FURY fame), a newly blonde (she laughingly just dyed it) buxom bombshell injects even more bawdy sex appeal into the scene, helping her pack a skimpy red bikini. Stop me if you’ve seen this before. Of course you have, that’s the point. Big stud athlete (and Jules’ boy toy) Curt (THOR and AVENGERS’ Chris Hemsworth before he was famous) appears brandishing a football and a leading man’s smile, and he’s brought a studly and studious friend with him to fix up with Dana, Holden (GREY’s ANATOMY’s Jesse Williams). But things don’t get rolling, literally, until Marty (the fantastically hilarious DOLLHOUSE alum, Fran Kranz), appears, hotbox-ing his trashy car and joining his unlikely friends in an RV en route to Curt’s cousin’s—you guessed it—cabin in the woods.

It's never a good idea to go into the cellar. But it helps if you go with someone wearing their letterman.

But, we actually don’t open on these oversexed teens. We open on two mysterious, sexist, sardonic corporate desk men, Sitterson (one of the most underrated actors there is, THE VISITOR’s Richard Jenkins) and Hadley (Bradley Whitford of THE WEST WING and STUDIO 60), cocky and cryptic about the day’s work ahead. We have no idea what it is they do in the large, white-washed halls they golf cart around in, but it’s certain that they have a sinister (and comical) role to play in the carnage to come. Add in another dash from the Whedonverse in Lin (DOLLHOUSE’s excellent Amy Acker) for a foil for these two jackasses, and that’s all I will say about the source of the massive twists and turns that makes CABIN IN THE WOODS so fun, original and awesome.

If Michael Scott made horror films...

We learn that there’s a reason these five guys and girls were chosen, why they are who they are, even why Jules dyed her hair blonde. Whedon and Goddard hew closely to the horror rule book, but mold it like silly putty into a horror fanboy’s wet dream, all the while garnering a few scares along the way. It’s nothing that will give you nightmares, but it definitely makes you jump, and you’re constantly wondering what it is Whedon and Goddard will dream up next, because the world they create is limitless in its creativity and innumerous in its horrors to the point of hilarity, turning the audience at my screening as giddy as a couple schoolgirls discussing Team Edward. And underneath it all, Whedon and Goddard have created their own version of the underground conspiracy to explain not only their movie, but maybe all horror movies.

For the most part, our young victims in the cast are forgettable eye candy, but that’s kind of the point. But they are all certainly convincing in portraying their stereotypes (Anna Hutchison deserves some sort of medal for making out with the mounted head of a wolf). It’s impossible to keep your eyes off Chris Hemsworth, as he commands the screen, providing a glimmer of his future as the heir of Asgard. Kristen Connolly, in prime form as the innocent wide eyed ingénue for which we all yearn to see live/die in equal measure (the crux at the middle of this and all other horror films in the HALLOWEEN and SCREAM mold), shows enough acting chops and a look that’s irresistible that should promise a modest Hollywood future, or at least a role in a CW series. But, without a doubt, the runaway, breakout star and scene stealer is Fran Kranz, as stoner soothsayer Marty. He is the audience – skeptical, unnerved and incensed at what is happening and how Curt and the others react to the increasingly ridiculous circumstances of their camping trip gone wrong. He says what characters should have been saying in horror movies since they first hit the big screen. Kranz proves that he deserves a spot in a Judd Apatow produced ensemble comedy, and it wouldn’t surprise me to see him become a star in the burgeoning comedy marketplace if given a good script and a chance.

Why do they call it a one-way mirror?

CABIN is almost an impossible movie to review with any sort of substance without giving anything important away, but the punchline, and the plot within the plot, is the whole reason for watching, and I wouldn’t dare ruin it for those on the fence about seeing it. Let’s just say IT’S WORTH IT. I had some theories based on the little I did know going into it, and while some of it was proved right, Whedon and Goddard go further than I think most in the theatre would have dared dream possible. This movie deserves a big audience. Whether you love THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE or abhor it (or found that Two Girls, One Cup was enough), whether you’ve been disappointed by horror films since THE DAWN OF THE DEAD, or even if you ignore horror altogether, CABIN IN THE WOODS is a whip smart, clever, choose your own adventure style popcorn movie that creates a ridiculous world that I didn’t want to leave by the end; a self-aware ticking time bomb puzzle that delights the audience almost as much as it delights in itself. It’s a horror movie within a horror movie about all horror movies with a wink, a pair of boobs and buckets of blood. It’s the best movie so far in 2012.

The film will release nationally on April 13th and features Chris “Thor” Hemsworth and a group of “teens” who go for a leisurely trek to a (insert title here). What looks great about this movie is that it plays with many of the conventions of the genre, turning them on their head to give us a most unexpected journey. The trailer released earlier was cut so that the intro looked as regular and cliché, only to then start blowing minds at about the half-way point.

One final note: Although we’ve been referring to it (and will continue to) as Joss Whedon’s CABIN IN THE WOODS, the film is actually being directed by Drew Goddard, who’s been writing and producing for J.J. Abrams and Joss Whedon projects (LOST, ANGEL, BUFFY, ALIAS). This is his directorial debut. But given that the story is a Joss Whedon creation and that Mr. Goddard has worked with different series that excelled in blowing minds, I think this will shape up to be one of the more notable entries in the 2012 release calendar.

Check out the trailer from our previous post here.

Do you feel that shiver slithering up your spine? That’s because the trailer has just hit for THE CABIN IN THE WOODS, the long-anticipated ‘slasher to end all slashers’ directed by CLOVERFIELD screenwriter Drew Goddard and produced by BUFFY creator Joss Whedon. The film was shot in 2009 with a cast including Chris Hemsworth, Jesse Williams, Kristen Connolly, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, and Richard Jenkins. There’s been a lot of mystery surrounding the story and what makes this script really tick, and now with the first trailer released from Lionsgate, we get our first clue…

A group of five friends going on a quiet cabin retreat scratch the surface of something so massive and horrific that they can only begin to fathom what might possibly be going on just as time quickly runs out.

This trailer is packed with a LOT of tantalizing images, but without the context I think there’s still a lot of secrets left. If anything, it only asks more questions. How do you feel about the film? Will you be seeing it when it comes out next April on Friday the 13th? I know I will.

That’s what makes this new teaser poster for THE CABIN IN THE WOODS that much more gratifying.  CABIN was directed by Drew Goddard, written by Goddard and AVENGERS director Joss Whedon, and stars Chris Hemsworth before he went and became one of the most recognizable heroes on the planet with THOR.

We know very little about this movie, which I would argue works in its favor.  And as you can see from the poster below, that dearth of information isn’t about to change anytime soon.  It kinda reminds me of the first teases we got of INCEPTION, images of contorted cityscapes and spiraling hallways yet no inkling as to the actual meat of the story.  Check it out, courtesy of Ain’t It Cool News:

From the poster, it would appear to be one of those films with an awesomely twisty plot, a welcome change from the standard  horror film.

Henry Knowles also has an interesting interview at the link, where he talks to Whedon and Goddard basically about how mysterious the movie is with them playing very coy about giving away actual plot details.

It looks like we’ll have to wait until April 13, 2012 to learn the truth about THE CABIN IN THE WOODS.

Set in the aftermath of an apocalyptic robot uprising, Steven Spielberg’s next film, ROBOPOCALYPSE – a Drew Goddard-scripted adaptation of Daniel H. Wilson’s epic novel – is such a big deal that it will be co-financed by both DreamWorks and Fox.

According to Deadline, this isn’t the first time Fox and DreamWorks have tried to get together. HARVEY, back in 2009, similarly had both studios and Spielberg attached, but the project dried up when Spielberg withdrew due to, among other things, difficulties with finding an actor to play Elwood P. Dowd, James Stewart’s character back in 1950.

Hopefully this time around everything will work out and all involved can surmount any speed bumps along the way to the ROBOPOCALYPSE.

Unfortunately, the wait to finally gain some insight into the film was achingly prolonged when distributors announced that its February 2010 release date would be pushed back a full year in order to upscale the film to the 3-D format. Thankfully, although its creators have been mum about plot specifications, actors always love to talk. One of the film’s stars, Amy Acker (Angel, Alias), let slip at this past weekend’s WonderCon in San Fransisco that Cabin in the Woods is a creature feature.

Reported by SciFi Wire, the actress was quoted as saying, “There’s a lot of scary monsters,” in a group interview while promoting the upcoming ABC series, Happy Town. “It’s a scary movie.”

So while that doesn’t give you a whole ton to go on, it at least introduces an intriguing new element. More monsters can never be a bad thing. In other good news, Acker also revealed that the film production process has officially finished, leaving only the 3-D conversion to go.

“I got an e-mail yesterday that it was finished,” Acker said. “The cut is finished, so they’ve got it all, well, ‘in the can’ I guess is what the terminology was.”

While Acker hasn’t seen the cut yet, her showrunners at Happy Town apparently have. “These guys are all friends with Drew from Alias, and they saw it and said that it was awesome,” she said. “So that’s good.”

After letting slip the detail about monsters, Acker chose to play the rest of the interview a bit more coyly. “It is about a cabin in the woods,” Acker confirmed. “You’ve figured it out. Yeah, it’s about a cabin in the woods. It does take from the sort of formula of the horror movie of this group of young kids who go away to a cabin in the woods for the weekend, and everything that happens and what you think is supposed to happen.”

The Cabin in the Woods is due in theaters Jan. 14, 2011.

Richard Jenkins (The Broken) and Bradley Whitford are moving to The Cabin in the Woods. Jenkins is on board and Whitford is in final negotiations to star in the mystery-shrouded MGM/UA horror project written by Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard, who also is directing. Whedon is producing.

Much like Cloverfield, which Goddard scripted, the Cabin story line provides a new twist on a classic scenario — in this case the young-people-stranded-in-the-woods horror trope.

“It’s really just your basic typecasting: When you need two actors to run through the woods in low-cut nighties, you immediately think of Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford,” Goddard joked. Whedon said the casting signals what kind of movie they are hoping to make. “They’re the first proof that though The Cabin in the Woods is a classic horror film, it isn’t one you’ve seen before.”

While the studio and filmmakers were loath to provide character details, it is understood that Jenkins and Whitford will play white-collar co-workers with a mysterious connection to the cabin.

The UA production is prepping for a spring shoot and will open wide February 5, 2010, with MGM distributing.