The speculation began BEFORE the AVENGERS even came out, about whether Joss Whedon would return for AVENGERS 2. Now that it’s broken box office record after box office record, we know that Marvel Studios and Disney and Paramount and whoever has money tied up in the franchise wants the guy back. But does Whedon want to return? As Ain’t It Cool News reports, Whedon is “very torn” on returning due to the work load and the fact that it’s “someone else’s story.” Whedon’s a great writer and a wizard with his own stuff, so I don’t blame the guy for wanting to explore, and we know he wants to pursue Dr. Horrible 2 and other projects. The problem is, Marvel probably wants him to start work yesterday. If I had to guess, I’d say he passes, but I hope he returns.

Brad Bird, the creative genius behind THE INCREDIBLES, RATATOUILLE and other Pixar luminaries, and coming off the robust success of MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: 14 4, is going to direct Disney’s upcoming secretive science fiction project, 1952. The film, according to EW, is written by Damon Lindelof (LOST) and Jeff Jensen (an Entertainment Weekly writer) and the plot is being kept a secret from mere mortals like us. It promises to be intriguing with those names involved, and could vault to the top of my most anticipated movies in the future, depending on what information comes to life. I’m going to pretend it’s a mix of LOST, SUPER 8 and INCREDIBLES.

“The Stranger”

Air Date: 4/29/2012

It took 20 episodes, but you’ll finally know who Eoin Bailey’s August/The Stranger is by the end of the first act in this Sunday’s episode. Last week, the writers did a solid job making us think he was Rumpelstiltskin’s son Baelfire, but ABC pulled the ole switcheroo at the last moment. It’s almost impossible to review this episode without revealing who he is in fairy tale lore because even the most basic plot outline makes it overwhelmingly obvious, so you have been warned (that was a SPOILER ALERT, by the way). Skip to the last paragraph for my final summarization of the episode if you don’t want it SPOILED.

We begin at Emma and Mary Margaret’s bachelorette pad, where August is finishing up fashioning a new lock on their front door, one that Regina wouldn’t have a key to. After Emma promised that she would take Henry away from Regina at the end of last week’s episode, it’s time to get serious. The question is, is Emma ready? Not only for the battle between Regina, but for the responsibility of being Henry’s mother? With snappy made for TV timing, Operation Cobra awaits, as Henry calls an emergency meeting at Granny’s Diner. Turns out, someone has added a story to Henry’s book, without an ending. That story, concerns Gepetto and a certain wooden child who longs to be a “real boy.”

Cut to Gepetto (THE LEGEND OF ZORRO’s Tony Amendola) and CGI Pinocchio on a shoddy raft amongst raging waves and violent rain that would make THE PERFECT STORM jealous.  There’s only one life preserver on the ill-conceived boat (Gepetto can make a wooden man come to life but not a decent boat with up to code safety regulations?), and Gepetto tries to make Pinocchio take it, but our boy is wood, and can float, so he jumps off the raft, just as the whale is about to consume the boat. Instead of an extended whale scene, Gepetto awakens the next morning, on shore. He finds Pinocchio, water logged and…not breathing? I guess less alive than he was in the first place. The blue fairy (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA’s Keegan Connor Tracy) comes to assuage his grief, and not only brings Pinocchio back to life, but back to life as a real boy (played by Jakob Davies, a veteran of FRINGE and SMALLVILLE). Before she flits away, the blue fairy warns Pinocchio that he’ll remain a real boy as long as he is brave, true and selfless.

August calls Mr. Gold to meet, and as he hangs up, he spasms, in immense pain, another instance of the sickness we came to learn of last week. He lifts his pant leg to reveal a wooden leg. The Stranger is Pinocchio, in case that wasn’t obvious, and he’s slowly turning back into wood. When August gets to Mr. Gold’s shop, he sees Marco (or Gepetto), the first time he’s seen his father in 28 years. Mr. Gold delights in his lack of comfort, and stresses the importance of getting Emma to believe, because only then can she reverse the curse. And so, August tries to whisk Emma off to do so, but she refuses, concerned more about Henry.

Back in the realm of witches and wizards, Gepetto helps Pinocchio fix a clock, in which Jiminy Cricket (Raphael Sbarge) has been tied up inside the clockwork by the boy. Not exactly how I remember their relationship. The blue fairy appears, and Pinocchio thinks it’s because of the trick he played on our favorite insect, but she has far more grave news. The Evil Queen’s curse is coming, and the realm is in danger. Gepetto, using a magic tree much like the tree used to carve Pinocchio, must fashion a vessel to send Snow White and her daughter (Emma) into a land devoid of magic, where they would be safe until she’s 28 and can work to reverse the curse. The catch is that the tree only has enough magic for two people to travel through worlds. Gepetto agrees to make it, only if Pinocchio can travel with Snow White’s baby, because he can’t stand the thought of losing him to the curse (so by all means send him away for almost three decades). Gepetto promises that Pinocchio will be the only protector that Snow White’s progeny needs. Don’t question the logic of sending a boy who’s only alive by magic to a land where there is no magic (I’m assuming the tree’s magic preserves his life?), but a father’s love is hardly rational, and Gepetto shows shades of Walter Bishop in this one.

Emma goes to Mr. Gold for his lawyerly help in an upcoming trial to win Henry’s custody. Mr. Gold refuses, saying that he picks his battles carefully, and a drawn out court case only hurts Henry, and the man has a point. Frustrated, Emma turns to August, willing to go on the mysterious adventure he alluded to earlier. August promises the secret to defeating Regina and getting Henry.

As both of these storylines move along, there’s an intriguing subplot between Regina and David. Regina, after Henry blew up at her on the playground and after her car dies, is having a piss poor day. David, being a nice guy (as nice as a wish washy adulterer can be), gives her a ride home. To thank him, Regina offers him lasagna. At first David refuses, but then when he sees how sad and lonely (and hot) she is, reluctantly agrees to stay. Regina, eyes glinting, hopes that maybe David’s love triangle can become a love square.

Who wants seconds?

As August and Emma drive off on his motorcycle outside of Storybrooke and track their origins into this world, the curse is looming closer in the land of pixie dust. The tree portal (for lack of a better way to put it) must be ready, as Snow White’s baby is coming prematurely (all that stress can’t help), and she will need her mother to go with her, rather than Pinocchio. Uh oh. What will Gepetto do?

Finding out August’s true identity, and discovering how Emma and August got into this world, was actually more enjoyable than I thought. The revelations on this show are hardly surprising or gut wrenching, but their showdown in the woods was one of the more impassioned, well-acted scenes of the season. It doesn’t end at all how Mr. Gold and August hoped, and Emma’s brash actions propel us to what should be an interesting last few episodes, especially with the promise of more Lana Parilla strutting around all evil like.

Yesterday, Disney announced that they picked up the rights to Neil Gaiman’s THE GRAVEYARD BOOK. Today, Disney has announced that Henry Selick (CORALINE) would direct the project, a very promising development for fans of the book. The YA book upon which it will be based is about Bod, a boy who was raised by ghosts in a graveyard and faces greater evils when he lives his home. Plus, it sounds like it could be a Pixar feature, according to Slashfilm.

“The Return”

Air Date: 4/22/12

This week’s episode, aptly titled “The Return” if only because ONCE UPON A TIME is back on the air after a three week break, delves more into Rumpelstiltskin’s back story. Like Samuel Adams, giving Robert Carlyle the spotlight is always a good decision.

We return to Storybrooke following a big twist. Turns out, Kathryn is not so dead after all. She was in a car crash, kidnapped, fed in a dark basement somewhere, and then freed. Clearly the heart’s DNA results were tampered with. She has no idea who her captor may be, but we know it’s got to be Mr. Gold or Regina.

Regina confronts Mr. Gold and accuses him of breaking his deal. Mr. Gold explains that he’s only broken one deal in his life, and that this wasn’t one of them. He merely twisted the deal to benefit himself, and it’s clear that the trail he left will lead right to Regina. Good thing Regina always has a plan.

August, the stranger with no fairy tale doppelganger to speak of (yet), wakes up in spasms and in a wreck. He calls Henry to speed up Operation Cobra, but clearly he has ulterior motives. Henry goes into Mr. Gold’s shop to buy a present for Mary Margaret to celebrate her innocence, while August snoops around in the back. He’s quickly caught, and finally, Mr. Gold’s eyes are intent on this newcomer to the ‘Brooke.

In the fairy tale world, Rumpelstiltskin’s son, Baelfire (Dylan Schmid) is almost run over by a donkey cart, but no harm is done aside from a mini flesh wound. Despite his son’s adamant protests, Rumpelstiltskin quickly turns the cart driver into a snail, and stomps on him. Thanks, Dad. Back at the Rumpel homestead, Bael pleads to his father to stop, to go back to the way things are. Rumpelstiltskin says the only way is to kill him with the blade that gave him the power. But Bael makes a deal with his father, that if he can find another way to relieve him of the power and to go back to normal, that he will take it. It doesn’t take a genius to know that this is the one deal Rumpelstiltskin breaks, but the journey to discover how it occurs and how it connects with the storyline in Maine is the real draw, and there actually is an emotional wallop.

David continues his quest to be the most hated character on the show, as he spends the episode apologizing. He visits Kathryn in the hospital, who’s come to term with the end of their relationship, but kisses her on the forehead anyway in a feeble attempt to revive the tortured love triangle. He also goes to Mary Margaret to plead his case (horribly, I might add). He’s sorry for not standing by her side in her time of need. This is a guy who left his “love” rot in a jail cell rather than believing her innocence. Nice work, Charming.

Emma throws a “Yay, you’re not a murderer!” party at the apartment, and Mary Margaret’s surprised by the large turnout. David attempts to kill the buzz, but Emma turns him away. At the party, Mr. Gold inquires about August’s origins and intentions. This doesn’t alleviate Mr. Gold’s concerns, and the confrontation between the two of them at the end of the episode is a long time coming.

Because of his father’s status as The Dark One and all that, no one will let Baelfire play in any of their reindeer games, in justifiable fear for their lives. Except, that is, for Morraine (Conner Dwelly), a friend who comforts Baelfire, and reveals a way that may be able to save his father from the darkness. Bael takes his chance, Emma tries to nail down Regina, and Mr. Gold and August find out a little more about each other.

ONCE UPON A TIME plays with your expectations this week. There were three twists and none of them were particularly surprising, except that one of them was not as it seemed, and basically brought us back to square one. While frustrating, it should lead to a bigger payoff down the line, or at least one can hope. I can’t say I’m particularly pleased to see Kathryn return (I thought her story was completed satisfactorily), but it looks like, thankfully, that won’t be a big story in the coming weeks.

JOHN CARTER  stars Bryan Cranston, Mark Strong, Ciaran Hinds, Dominic West, Willem Dafoe, and Thomas Haden Church, and was directed by Andrew Stanton.

Synopsis (courtesy Disney):
“The film tells the story of war-weary, former military captain John Carter, who is inexplicably transported to Mars where he becomes reluctantly embroiled in a conflict of epic proportions amongst the inhabitants of the plant. In a world on the brink of collapse, Carter rediscovers his humanity when he realizes that the survival of Barsoom and its people rests in his hands.”

While you are at it, head to your local newsstand and pick up Famous Monsters #260, featuring a funeral pyre full of Poe coverage, including interviews with McTeigue and Cusack.

Synopsis (courtesy Intrepid Pictures):
“A fictionalized account of the last days of Edgar Allan Poe’s life, in which the poet pursues a serial killer whose murders mirror those in the writer’s stories.”

While you are at it, head to your local newsstand and pick up Famous Monsters #260, featuring a funeral pyre full of Poe coverage, including interviews with McTeigue and Cusack.

Synopsis (courtesy Intrepid Pictures):
“A fictionalized account of the last days of Edgar Allan Poe’s life, in which the poet pursues a serial killer whose murders mirror those in the writer’s stories.”

While you are at it, head to your local newsstand and pick up Famous Monsters #260, featuring a morgue wagon-full of Poe coverage, including interviews with McTeigue and Cusack.

Synopsis (courtesy Intrepid Pictures):
“A fictionalized account of the last days of Edgar Allan Poe’s life, in which the poet pursues a serial killer whose murders mirror those in the writer’s stories.”

Buried alive in THE RAVEN