Synopsis (courtesy Bloody Disgusting):
“THE HOUSE OF HORROR is a horror-thriller that centers around a gruesome crime scene. The film is shot with a blend of found footage, interrogation video, news cameras and classical cinematography. The film focuses on the aftermath of a horrific massacre; five college students, brutally murdered inside a decrepit, abandoned home.

We are thrown right into the mix as the lead Detective, Mark Lewis, and the police department’s psychologist, Dr. Elizabeth Klein, question a suspect. The young man at the center is John Ascot, bound by handcuffs in a mobile command station. During the interrogation, John explains everything leading up to the deaths of his friends.

We discover that they were amateur ghost-hunters, seeking out paranormal phenomenon at the abandoned house believed to be haunted. What started out as a harmless activity turned into something truly terrifying and more than they ever could bargain for. John explains to the police that he isn’t responsible for his friends’ deaths, but rather, it was the house. He tells them he believes the house is a gateway to hell; a place of concentrated evil.

We slowly witness an eerie change in John’s demeanor through the course of the movie. Things take a disturbing turn when John hints at the notion that he is possessed by the Devil. Detective Lewis and Dr. Klein are forced to unravel the mystery of how John’s friends were murdered. All this leads to a stunning revelation about the man they’ve been interrogating and a gut-wrenching conclusion.”

Images courtesy Warner Bros.

FINAL DESTINATION 5 
2011   USA   92mins
Blu-Ray/DVD combo or DVD alone
Director: Steven Quale
Starring: Nicholas D’Agosto, Emma Bell, Miles Fisher, Arlen Escarpeta, P.J. Byrne, David Koechner, Courtney B. Vance, and Tony Todd

Warner Bros. Pictures

Review By J ASTRO

At home alone the other night, I agonized between my top two choices for the evening’s entertainment; the newly released DVD of FINAL DESTINATION 5, or a copy of Pauly Shore’s ENCINO MAN that I picked up on the cheap. “I’ve already seen ENCINO MAN,” I thought to myself.  “Yeah, but you’ve basically already seen FINAL DESTINATION four times before, too” came my internal reply.  Ooooh! Burn! Good one, me!

But seriously.  When I throw myself behind a series, I’m usually in it for the long haul, no matter how bad things get.  I stuck with the entire SAW franchise, after all.  However, that doesn’t mean I just rush right out to theaters on opening weekend to eagerly sacrifice fifteen bucks to the sequel gods, either.  As such, if you’re reading this, I suspect many of you might’ve been harboring the same curiosities about FD5 that I was, but after the big time letdown that “THE” FINAL DESTINATION (aka FINAL DESTINATION 4) turned out be, who among us was really brave or stupid enough to get back on that horse?  Well, now’s our chance.  We can watch it in the comfort of our own homes, free from chatty gaggles of cell phone-abusing teenagers, and with popcorn and soda prices that don’t require a credit application… thus, I submit for your consideration FINAL DESTINATION 5, made available on standard DVD and 3D Blu-ray/DVD combo from Warner Bros. on December 27, 2011.  I stuck with the standard version, as previous home versions of 3D films have left me pretty cold.  I don’t think it really would have impacted my overall impression of the movie either way.

Each of the FINAL DESTINATION films has its one big set-piece, a horrific, frantic, carnage-filled scenario wherein the principal characters are introduced and then messily dispatched, only to be saved at the last moment by our main hero’s uncanny premonition of the incident.  In this case, it is a fairly impressive suspension bridge collapse, with cars and buses and humans all tumbling into the river, or on top of each other, and in one brutal moment, a guy getting sloshed with & subsequently fried alive by bubbling hot tar (ouch).  Our characters this time around, as usual, avoid gruesome fates by sheer dumb luck, when hero Sam (Nicholas D’Agostino, who reminds me of Mark Ruffalo for some reason) gets off the bus after his vision, and his co-workers all follow him, bickering and disbelieving.  Disbelief turns to befuddlement when they witness the event with their own eyes and realize how “lucky” they are.  But then Death comes calling.  Death does not like to be cheated, as we are reminded by Bludworth (Tony Todd, perfunctorily reprising his cameo role as the macabre coroner and reciter of expository dialogue from the first two films).  So now Death starts bumping off the survivors in quirky, bizarre “accidents” in order to set things right, and there are all sorts of other rules involved, i.e. “skipping your turn” and resetting the order of things, blah blah, so on and so forth.  Nothing really new here in terms of set-up.

The most impressive thing about this franchise is that it has managed to go the whole distance without ever needing a real, marketable “villain”.  The concept of Death as a reasoning, thinking force is toyed with, but there is no real physical embodiment other than chilly gusts of wind and the occasional ominous shadow.  Death is something that can happen at any time, spectacularly even, with the slightest, most unnoticeable of provocations (an errant drop of water by a power outlet, a loose screw from a ceiling fan, a laptop computer on the frizz, etc).  As such, the aforementioned “rules” exist to give the body count some sort of structure & pacing while the characters do whatever it is they do.  Here, we have relationship troubles between the two attractive and sensible leads, interoffice strife amongst fellow employees (most of whom are supremely unlikable), a slutty girl who acts as slutty as possible without ever taking her clothes off, and ubiquitous TV & film comedian David Koechner lightly hamming it up as usual, this time as a clueless middle-manager with delusions of grandeur.   It’s all empty calories, mostly – filler to spend time on while we await the grotesque, and occasionally CGI-laden final fates of the would-be victims.

The kill sequences do not disappoint, at least in theory.  Death gets a lot to work with in this outing, ranging from a grisly gymnastics mishap to a laser eye surgery session gone all kinds of wrong.  The unabashedly mean-spirited nature of this new round of demises was much appreciated on my part, but on the down side, the super-duper-obvious digital fakery employed in several instances (mostly for the 3D gags) heavily detracted from the quality of the final product.  I doubt the filmmakers much cared what it looked like beyond the initial opening box office receipts, but when employing the broad strokes needed to make 3D work effectively, they left in a lot of sloppy moments that were glaringly apparent, cartoonish even, when not being viewed with the added distraction of tinted glasses.  This is clearly an instance where less might have been more, and some clever editing probably would have been far more valuable than simply getting right up in the screen and showing everything.  In fact, I’m certain it wouldn’t have looked any better even in 3D. FINAL DESTINATION 5 is a clear example of potentially decent movies that suffer from a lack of ingenuity or craftsmanship, instead replacing those qualities with garish parlor tricks.

FINAL DESTINATION 5 certainly didn’t blow me away with originality or star-making performances, but I did crack an appreciative smile at the the twist ending, which rather nicely tied this film back to the original one.  Although, if I can still complain about one more thing here, it would be that they overplayed this clever finale, and I would have preferred a little restraint here for a more sly take on the ominous conclusion.  But I’ll concede that I enjoyed FINAL DESTINATION 5 more than the last two installments, because at least theytried, and it is duly acknowledged.  It’s that kind of thing, a respect for continuity and nods to the long-term fans, that makes me feel justified in sticking with a franchise through both good times and bad.  Well, that and watching some mouthy jerk get a chestful of acupuncture needles rammed into him.  That’s always nice, too.  So if you’ve come this far with the series, you might as well go all in and give this latest one a look.

And don’t think I forgot about you, ENCINO MAN.  I’ll deal with you later.

J Astro

Other reviews by J Astro:

HORROR EXPRESS Blu/DVD
DON’T OPEN TILL CHRISTMAS DVD

Dimension Films announced today Scream 4 will begin shooting this spring with the eventual release date of April 15, 2011. “Scream has been such an integral part of Dimension’s history, and I look forward to continuing the franchise,” said Dimension Films chief Bob Weinstein.

Craven will return to the directors seat, along with Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, and David Arquette who have all signed on to reprise their roles. Kevin Williamson, writer of the original trilogy, will also return with pen in hand, crafting a new script for a new decade.

“Working with Courteney, David, and Neve was a blast ten years ago and I’m sure it will be again. Kevin is right on his game with the new script — the characters and story crackle with energy and originality — to say nothing of some of the most hair-raising scares I’ve seen in a script since… well, since the original Scream series. Let me at it,” said Craven in a press release.

Variety reports “Dimension said its 2011 slate focuses on continuing its most successful franchises.” The original Scream grossed more than $170 million worldwide in 1996. Scream 2 also took in more than $170 million in 1997 and Scream 3 topped $160 million after it was released in 2000.

There’s not an original idea in the bunch, which is made up entirely of sequels to and remakes of “classic” Dimension films. There’s also a particular focus on 3D films, the latest victim of Hollywood’s unfortunate “never too much of a good thing” philosophy. Halloween III will force those damned plastic glasses onto our faces once again, as will remakes of Scanners and Hellraiser. Rounding out the upcoming crop of 3D overkill is yet another SpyKids sequel, which Robert Rodriguez is writing now and which will push back Sin City 2 yet again. For someone who has made so many things I love, Rodriguez sure does know how to disappoint.

The studio is also producing remakes of Children of the Corn and An American Werewolf in London. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been hoping for a revival of classic-style horror since the first Saw pic made me lose faith in the genre – but re-hashing movies that were popular several decades ago isn’t what I had in mind. Short Circuit is also looking at a big-screen revamp, which raises the baffling question of who, exactly, thought Johnny 5 needed another go at the big screen.

The most-publicized, and arguably most exciting, of Dimension’s films moving forward is Scream 4. The movie is attracting a lot of buzz, thanks to its stated goal of starting another trilogy, and its inclusion of returning Scream stars David Arquette, Courteney Cox and, most recently, Neve Campbell. Currently, Weinstein and co. are trying to attract Wes Craven to direct, and hope to start production in April or May of 2010.

“I’m heading back to my franchise films,” Weinstein said. Geez, thanks, Bob. We don’t have enough already.

Bloody Disgusting is also tipping fans that Nuke the Fridge (though the info still needs to be confirmed) is reporting that Richard Dreyfuss (Jaws, Close Encounters of the Third Kind) as been cast! “Richard Dreyfuss will reportedly appear in a cameo that will pay homage to Jaws,” they report. “His character will even be drinking Amity brand beer (the setting of Jaws). (Spoiler Follows) Reportedly, Dreyfuss might be the first character killed off in the new movie.”

Based on the original Joe Dante 1978 classic, “They’re back! Every year the population of sleepy Lake Havasu explodes from 5,000 to 50,000 for a single, wild weekend – the 4th of July, a riot of sun, drunken fun and sex-crazed mayhem. But this year, there’s something more to worry about than hangovers and complaints from local old timers. Havasu sits in the crater formed by a prehistoric volcanic eruption, and when earth tremors tear open a crack in the lake floor, all hell breaks through. Piranhas – a million ravenous, razor-toothed monsters, unchanged since the dawn of time. Unstoppable killing machines acting blindly under one primeval impulse: to hunt down anything that moves and strip it to the raw, bleeding bone. In seconds.”

Aja is said to begin lensing this month in Arizona. The film is scheduled to hit theaters May 19, 2010. Stay tuned for more news.

“Deal is as good as done,” reports Moviehole. “Shue is playing the role of Sherrif Julie Forester, a take-charge authority figure in the community of Lake Victoria – where the action/ankle-biting takes place. She’s the mother of Jake (one of the central characters in the film – the shy teenager who gets to prove his worth when human-eating fish threaten his family and friends), Laura and Zane.”

With Shue cast, supporting roles (breakdown below) should be named in the days to come! Be sure to keep it here for updates. Piranha 3D hits theaters now on March 19, 2010, delayed from their original 2009 release date. Look out for the trailer to be attached to Final Destination: Death Trip 3D.

Based on the original Joe Dante 1978 classic, “They’re back! Every year the population of sleepy Lake Havasu explodes from 5,000 to 50,000 for a single, wild weekend – the 4th of July, a riot of sun, drunken fun and sex-crazed mayhem. But this year, there’s something more to worry about than hangovers and complaints from local old timers. Havasu sits in the crater formed by a prehistoric volcanic eruption, and when earth tremors tear open a crack in the lake floor, all hell breaks through. Piranhas – a million ravenous, razor-toothed monsters, unchanged since the dawn of time. Unstoppable killing machines acting blindly under one primeval impulse: to hunt down anything that moves and strip it to the raw, bleeding bone. In seconds.”

BREAKDOWN:

[SHERIFF JULIE FORESTER] In her late 30′s, she is attractive, sexy and fit! She’s a woman in charge, she the local sheriff in the community of Lake Victoria, and the mother of Jake, Laura and Zane. NOTE: MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH ACTION SCENES AND WORKING IN THE WATER! LEAD

[JAKE FORESTER] This hormonal 16-17 year old is the designated babysitter for his younger siblings, Laura and Zane. Trying to look cool in his Pixies concert t-shirt, Jake is famously shy when it comes to flirting with girls, especially Kelly, who he has a huge crush on He is lured away by the lowest rung of the entertainment industry, when he’s offered a job as location scout by sleazy “Wild Wild Girls” producer Derrick Jones NOTE: MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH ACTION SCENES AND WORKING IN AND UNDERWATER! LEAD

[KELLY] 16-17 years old, she’s a cute and down to earth girl, Kelly is friendly with Jake from school and tired of his shyness – she’s been waiting for him to make his move. Open to all ethnicities. NOTE: MUST BE COMFORTABLE WORKING IN AND UNDER WATER! LEAD

[NOVAK] In his mid to late 30s, an attractive, tough-looking, smart & good-natured man’s man, Novak exudes confidence and charm. He is the leader of a United States Geological Survey exploration team. Open to all ethnicities. NOTE: SCUBA EXPERIENCE IS A HUGE PLUS! AND MUST UP FOR ACTION SCENES IN THE WATER. LEAD

[DERRICK JONES] In his 30′s. A hyperactive guy with an HD camera, Derrick is a cameraman and a “wannabe film director,” a dynamo of aggressive, predatory energy – a human piranha! He is intent on advancing his fledgling career by shooting a “Wild Wild Girls” video at Lake Victoria. Self-absorbed, imperious and obsessed with his project, Derrick has brought along two strippers to flesh out his film. Open to all ethnicities. NOTE: MUST BE COMFORTABLE WORKING IN THE WATER! LEAD

[LAURA FORESTER] An adorable, sassy and tomboyish little 10-11 year-old girl, Laura is Jake and Zane’s sister. , who mercilessly mocks her older brother Jake’s attempts to look sexually mature, Laura is dumped by her babysitting brother, and gets to go fishing with Zane without any adult supervision Please note height and age on submission! NOTE: MUST BE COMFORTABLE WORKING IN THE WATER! LEAD

[ZANE FORESTER] 8-10 years old, he is the adorable and smart son of Sheriff Julie Forester, and brother of Jake and Laura. Zane is best buddies with his sister Laura and is delighted to go on a fishing expedition alone with her after Jake ditches them. Please note height and age on submission! NOTE: MUST BE COMFORTABLE WORKING IN THE WATER! LEAD

[DANNI] In her mid 20′s, she’s a very attractive buxom girl (and they should be REAL…NOT implants!!!). Danni is the dream girl of every 16-year-old boy – a hot stripper. She’s sexy, smart, on the ball and knows how to use her assets. Has an urban, edgy and East Coast feel (maybe some tattoos). Open to all ethnicities. NUDITY REQUIRED – TOPLESS & FULL NUDITY UNDERWATER) MUST BE COMFORTABLE WORKING IN THE WATER! Think a younger Dita Von Teese. Suicide Girl, Burlesque feel. LEAD

[DEPUTY FALLON] 50′s, an ex-Marine, Fallon is the second man in charge at the Sheriff’s department, and a good friend to Julie and her family. A tough-minded guy who has seen more than a few grim sights in his day, Fallon knows he’s in for a long, grinding week of trying to keep drunken teenagers from killing themselves. But he proves heroic in the face of a ferocious invasion from beneath the surface of the water…LEAD

[CRYSTAL] early 20′s. She is your classic stripper. A gorgeous California Blonde. Sweet and possibly a bit trashy, she has FAKE boobs (implants), and not too much going on upstairs. Crystal is a friend of Danni’s, and has also been hired by Derrick to appear in his cheesy amateur video (NUDITY REQUIRED – TOPLESS & FULL NUDITY UNDERWATER) MUST BE COMFORTABLE WORKING IN THE WATER! SUPPORTING LEAD

[SAM] In his early 40s, with an extremely well built physique, he’s a little too old for spring break, but his reckless, flirty spirit is just right. Another expert scuba diver, he’s a member of Novak’s undersea exploration team. Open to all ethnicities. NOTE: SCUBA EXPERIENCE IS A HUGE PLUS! MUST BE COMFORTABLE WORKING IN THE WATER! SUPPORTING LEAD

[PAULA] In her early 30s, a sparkplug of a woman who is extremely fit and a possible tomboy-ish look, she’s the third member of Novak’s U.S.G.S. investigative team. Another expert scuba diver, she’s an experienced undersea explorer. Open to all ethnicities. NOTE: SCUBA EXPERIENCE IS A HUGE PLUS! MUST BE COMFORTABLE WORKING IN THE WATER! SUPPORTING LEAD

[MR. GOODMAN] In his 70s – 80′s, he owns the local pet emporium, and is an expert on exotic fish, having collected species from the four corners of the world. A grandfatherly type, he is a walking encyclopedia on the subject of piranha fish, both modern and prehistoric… SUPPORTING LEAD

The new H2 picks up right as the first remake ended, following the aftermath of Michael Myers’ murderous rampage through the eyes of the sister he hunted.

________________________________________________________________________

Platinum Dune’s remake of A Nightmare of Elm Street is casting up for their shoot, which begins shooting in Chicago this Spring. News via various sources have revealed that a new draft of the script was just turned in and Jackie Earle Haley (Watchmen) is one contender among a list of potential actors to play Freddy Krueger.

As previously mentioned, the story of the remake is said to be more serious and terrifying and will be based heavily on the first film in the series while incorporating some major elements from the entire franchise.

________________________________________________________________________

Catching up on this item, Danielle Panabaker in the recently released Friday the 13th reboot and Joe Anderson (The Ruins) have been cast in Breck Eisner’s The Crazies remake. Panabaker will play a receptionist at the medical center while Anderson will gear up for the role of town deputy. Shooting begins tomorrow, March 5 in Georgia followed by additional photography in Iowa, and we will definitely have more coverage on FM in the days to come.

Not much regarding the plot has been shared but we do know the story revolves around people in a small Kansas town who are beset by a virus that causes insanity and death after a mysterious toxin contaminates the local water supply.

Plot line: In the film chaos and confusion erupt in a rural Southwestern town when a crack in the canyon rim creates a portal for the dead to be called back to life by the living.

Scream 4 is really happening but is Wes Craven in or is he out?

At The Last House on the Left remake premiere afterparty, Bloody Disgusting received confirmation from Wes Craven himself that Scream 4 is indeed in the works, but attaching his name to direct however is not yet so set in stone.

Craven, who directed Scream 1 through 3, claims that he knows nothing about the new plot except the fact that Dimension Films has hired Kevin Williamson to pen the script. Our previous announcements however still stand that Scream 4 will be a younger version than the ones we’ve seen.

One last note in regards to getting Craven on board, here’s what the director had to say.

“It would take it being really as good a script as the first one was,” explaining that he should also be compensated for his work on the franchise, “and the pay day reflects what I’ve done for that company and what Ive gone through on Cursed (laughs).”

Thus far, offers have been made to David Arquette, Courtney Cox, and Neve Campbell to return for cameos. Stay tuned for more details.

CHUD via The Today Show reports today that Neil Jordan (Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles, The Brave One) is in negotiations to write and direct the feature adaptation for The Graveyard Book, based on the novel by Neil Gaiman (Beowulf, Stardust, Coraline). The Graveyard Book will be shot in live-action with special effects done by Framestore, a London based FX production house that most recently worked on Australia.

Synopsis: Hear this tragic tale: a sleeping family, a talented murderer, and an adventurous toddler—orphaned, but not assassinated. Small and alone, by accident and luck he escapes the scene of the crime and climbs a grassy hill to safety. At the top of the hill the boy finds a fence, and on the other side, a dark, quiet place.
________________________________________________________________________

According to Variety, Steven Rogers (P.S. I Love You) is adapting Shanna Swendson’s 2005 novel Enchanted, Inc. for Strike Entertainment. A schedule is still to be determined but we have the storyline: The story centers on a small-town woman who comes to New York only to find out magic is commonplace in Gotham and has existed there for centuries. But because she is one of the rare creatures without the slightest bit of magic inside her, she can see through any spell.