ABC announced that while the project will not be ready for this upcoming season, that yes, THE HULK is still in development, and could be coming to TV as soon as next season. The show will be produced by Guillermo Del Toro (PAN’S LABYRINTH) in a dream combination. The Hulk hasn’t exactly thrived in a lead role in two movies, so it’d be interesting to see an entire television show based on the character, but you know with immense popularity and recognition following THE AVENGERS that the show would have enormous rope.

It wasn’t all good news, as FOX’s plans to develop a PUNISHER procedural from CRIMINAL MINDS producer Ed Bernero were squashed, according to Dark Horizons. The pilot was rejected and looks about dead in the water. If Punisher had stolen scenes in THE AVENGERS like the Hulk we might have written a different story today. It’s sad, but  in my opinion, I wouldn’t want a washed down network version of PUNISHER, and would very much prefer seeing the concept developed by HBO, STARZ (imagine a combo of SPARTACUS and PUNISHER?) or SHOWTIME.

“The Stranger”

Air Date: 4/29/2012

It took 20 episodes, but you’ll finally know who Eoin Bailey’s August/The Stranger is by the end of the first act in this Sunday’s episode. Last week, the writers did a solid job making us think he was Rumpelstiltskin’s son Baelfire, but ABC pulled the ole switcheroo at the last moment. It’s almost impossible to review this episode without revealing who he is in fairy tale lore because even the most basic plot outline makes it overwhelmingly obvious, so you have been warned (that was a SPOILER ALERT, by the way). Skip to the last paragraph for my final summarization of the episode if you don’t want it SPOILED.

We begin at Emma and Mary Margaret’s bachelorette pad, where August is finishing up fashioning a new lock on their front door, one that Regina wouldn’t have a key to. After Emma promised that she would take Henry away from Regina at the end of last week’s episode, it’s time to get serious. The question is, is Emma ready? Not only for the battle between Regina, but for the responsibility of being Henry’s mother? With snappy made for TV timing, Operation Cobra awaits, as Henry calls an emergency meeting at Granny’s Diner. Turns out, someone has added a story to Henry’s book, without an ending. That story, concerns Gepetto and a certain wooden child who longs to be a “real boy.”

Cut to Gepetto (THE LEGEND OF ZORRO’s Tony Amendola) and CGI Pinocchio on a shoddy raft amongst raging waves and violent rain that would make THE PERFECT STORM jealous.  There’s only one life preserver on the ill-conceived boat (Gepetto can make a wooden man come to life but not a decent boat with up to code safety regulations?), and Gepetto tries to make Pinocchio take it, but our boy is wood, and can float, so he jumps off the raft, just as the whale is about to consume the boat. Instead of an extended whale scene, Gepetto awakens the next morning, on shore. He finds Pinocchio, water logged and…not breathing? I guess less alive than he was in the first place. The blue fairy (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA’s Keegan Connor Tracy) comes to assuage his grief, and not only brings Pinocchio back to life, but back to life as a real boy (played by Jakob Davies, a veteran of FRINGE and SMALLVILLE). Before she flits away, the blue fairy warns Pinocchio that he’ll remain a real boy as long as he is brave, true and selfless.

August calls Mr. Gold to meet, and as he hangs up, he spasms, in immense pain, another instance of the sickness we came to learn of last week. He lifts his pant leg to reveal a wooden leg. The Stranger is Pinocchio, in case that wasn’t obvious, and he’s slowly turning back into wood. When August gets to Mr. Gold’s shop, he sees Marco (or Gepetto), the first time he’s seen his father in 28 years. Mr. Gold delights in his lack of comfort, and stresses the importance of getting Emma to believe, because only then can she reverse the curse. And so, August tries to whisk Emma off to do so, but she refuses, concerned more about Henry.

Back in the realm of witches and wizards, Gepetto helps Pinocchio fix a clock, in which Jiminy Cricket (Raphael Sbarge) has been tied up inside the clockwork by the boy. Not exactly how I remember their relationship. The blue fairy appears, and Pinocchio thinks it’s because of the trick he played on our favorite insect, but she has far more grave news. The Evil Queen’s curse is coming, and the realm is in danger. Gepetto, using a magic tree much like the tree used to carve Pinocchio, must fashion a vessel to send Snow White and her daughter (Emma) into a land devoid of magic, where they would be safe until she’s 28 and can work to reverse the curse. The catch is that the tree only has enough magic for two people to travel through worlds. Gepetto agrees to make it, only if Pinocchio can travel with Snow White’s baby, because he can’t stand the thought of losing him to the curse (so by all means send him away for almost three decades). Gepetto promises that Pinocchio will be the only protector that Snow White’s progeny needs. Don’t question the logic of sending a boy who’s only alive by magic to a land where there is no magic (I’m assuming the tree’s magic preserves his life?), but a father’s love is hardly rational, and Gepetto shows shades of Walter Bishop in this one.

Emma goes to Mr. Gold for his lawyerly help in an upcoming trial to win Henry’s custody. Mr. Gold refuses, saying that he picks his battles carefully, and a drawn out court case only hurts Henry, and the man has a point. Frustrated, Emma turns to August, willing to go on the mysterious adventure he alluded to earlier. August promises the secret to defeating Regina and getting Henry.

As both of these storylines move along, there’s an intriguing subplot between Regina and David. Regina, after Henry blew up at her on the playground and after her car dies, is having a piss poor day. David, being a nice guy (as nice as a wish washy adulterer can be), gives her a ride home. To thank him, Regina offers him lasagna. At first David refuses, but then when he sees how sad and lonely (and hot) she is, reluctantly agrees to stay. Regina, eyes glinting, hopes that maybe David’s love triangle can become a love square.

Who wants seconds?

As August and Emma drive off on his motorcycle outside of Storybrooke and track their origins into this world, the curse is looming closer in the land of pixie dust. The tree portal (for lack of a better way to put it) must be ready, as Snow White’s baby is coming prematurely (all that stress can’t help), and she will need her mother to go with her, rather than Pinocchio. Uh oh. What will Gepetto do?

Finding out August’s true identity, and discovering how Emma and August got into this world, was actually more enjoyable than I thought. The revelations on this show are hardly surprising or gut wrenching, but their showdown in the woods was one of the more impassioned, well-acted scenes of the season. It doesn’t end at all how Mr. Gold and August hoped, and Emma’s brash actions propel us to what should be an interesting last few episodes, especially with the promise of more Lana Parilla strutting around all evil like.

“The Return”

Air Date: 4/22/12

This week’s episode, aptly titled “The Return” if only because ONCE UPON A TIME is back on the air after a three week break, delves more into Rumpelstiltskin’s back story. Like Samuel Adams, giving Robert Carlyle the spotlight is always a good decision.

We return to Storybrooke following a big twist. Turns out, Kathryn is not so dead after all. She was in a car crash, kidnapped, fed in a dark basement somewhere, and then freed. Clearly the heart’s DNA results were tampered with. She has no idea who her captor may be, but we know it’s got to be Mr. Gold or Regina.

Regina confronts Mr. Gold and accuses him of breaking his deal. Mr. Gold explains that he’s only broken one deal in his life, and that this wasn’t one of them. He merely twisted the deal to benefit himself, and it’s clear that the trail he left will lead right to Regina. Good thing Regina always has a plan.

August, the stranger with no fairy tale doppelganger to speak of (yet), wakes up in spasms and in a wreck. He calls Henry to speed up Operation Cobra, but clearly he has ulterior motives. Henry goes into Mr. Gold’s shop to buy a present for Mary Margaret to celebrate her innocence, while August snoops around in the back. He’s quickly caught, and finally, Mr. Gold’s eyes are intent on this newcomer to the ‘Brooke.

In the fairy tale world, Rumpelstiltskin’s son, Baelfire (Dylan Schmid) is almost run over by a donkey cart, but no harm is done aside from a mini flesh wound. Despite his son’s adamant protests, Rumpelstiltskin quickly turns the cart driver into a snail, and stomps on him. Thanks, Dad. Back at the Rumpel homestead, Bael pleads to his father to stop, to go back to the way things are. Rumpelstiltskin says the only way is to kill him with the blade that gave him the power. But Bael makes a deal with his father, that if he can find another way to relieve him of the power and to go back to normal, that he will take it. It doesn’t take a genius to know that this is the one deal Rumpelstiltskin breaks, but the journey to discover how it occurs and how it connects with the storyline in Maine is the real draw, and there actually is an emotional wallop.

David continues his quest to be the most hated character on the show, as he spends the episode apologizing. He visits Kathryn in the hospital, who’s come to term with the end of their relationship, but kisses her on the forehead anyway in a feeble attempt to revive the tortured love triangle. He also goes to Mary Margaret to plead his case (horribly, I might add). He’s sorry for not standing by her side in her time of need. This is a guy who left his “love” rot in a jail cell rather than believing her innocence. Nice work, Charming.

Emma throws a “Yay, you’re not a murderer!” party at the apartment, and Mary Margaret’s surprised by the large turnout. David attempts to kill the buzz, but Emma turns him away. At the party, Mr. Gold inquires about August’s origins and intentions. This doesn’t alleviate Mr. Gold’s concerns, and the confrontation between the two of them at the end of the episode is a long time coming.

Because of his father’s status as The Dark One and all that, no one will let Baelfire play in any of their reindeer games, in justifiable fear for their lives. Except, that is, for Morraine (Conner Dwelly), a friend who comforts Baelfire, and reveals a way that may be able to save his father from the darkness. Bael takes his chance, Emma tries to nail down Regina, and Mr. Gold and August find out a little more about each other.

ONCE UPON A TIME plays with your expectations this week. There were three twists and none of them were particularly surprising, except that one of them was not as it seemed, and basically brought us back to square one. While frustrating, it should lead to a bigger payoff down the line, or at least one can hope. I can’t say I’m particularly pleased to see Kathryn return (I thought her story was completed satisfactorily), but it looks like, thankfully, that won’t be a big story in the coming weeks.

Synopsis (courtesy ABC):
“THE RIVER follows the story of wildlife expert and TV personality Emmet Cole. Emmet set course around the world with his wife, Tess, and son, Lincoln, while filming what would become one of the most popular shows in television. After he goes missing deep in the Amazon, his family, friends and crew set out on a mysterious and deadly journey to find him.

Famed explorer Dr. Emmet Cole (Bruce Greenwood) went looking for magic deep in the uncharted Amazon and never returned. The shocking truth about his disappearance is out there, somewhere, just waiting to be discovered. To the millions of kids who grew up watching his nature show, Dr. Cole was a hero. To his own son, Lincoln (Joe Anderson), he was more of an enigma. Now, six months after he vanished, Lincoln is finally ready to bury the past when Dr. Cole’s emergency beacon suddenly goes off. At the urging of his mother, Tess (Leslie Hope), Lincoln reluctantly joins her on a search for his father. To fund the rescue, they agree to let Dr. Cole’s cagey ex-producer, Clark (Paul Blackthorne), film the mission documentary-style. The mixed crew of old friends and new acquaintances includes the sexy and resourceful Lena (Eloise Mumford), loyal mechanic Emilio (Daniel Zacapa) and lethal bodyguard Captain Kurt Brynildson (Thomas Kretschmann).”

ONCE UPON A TIME

“FRUIT OF THE POISONOUS TREE”

Season 1, Episode 11

Review by Andy Greene

I’m not going to mince words here. I had no intention to watch Once Upon A Time. But upon receiving this assignment, I found myself immersing myself in fairy tale land, and soon, less grudgingly by the week, enjoyed my time in the fictional town of Storybrooke, Maine (of course it’s set in Maine).

With spotty acting and a premise that requires several leaps of faith and an open heart (aww), the show could’ve been a disaster (there are still moments, like when you meet the ill-fated eighth dwarf named “Stealthy,” when you question yourself). But creators Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis (both co-executive producers on LOST), found the successful tone and formula for the show early on, and haven’t strayed from it. And people have caught on, as this week’s episode was its highest rating of the past eleven weeks at 10.8 million viewers, and with “reimagined” fairy tales becoming pop culture’s newest fixation, that may not change any time soon.

The show, in many ways, is LOST meets Disneyland (Jiminy Cricket is not a fairy tale character. But hey, ABC is owned by Disney!). Each episode follows two inextricably linked timelines, one “our” world, and the other, in the enchanted forest of Happily Ever After (it’s not actually called that, but you get the point). Like LOST, OUAT has a huge cast of characters and a mythology that grows by the episode, and each week there’s a specific focus on one or a couple fairy tale characters and their origins told in glorious LOST flashback mode, and what they’re up to in Storybrooke.

Its newest episode, entitled “Fruit of the Poisonous Tree,” a title that has obvious roots in fairy tale lore (and the greatest fairy tale of all, the Bible) and its double meaning becomes transparent if you’ve taken a law class, is written by the aforementioned creators of the show and directed by Bryan Spicer (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers). The episode focuses on the origin story of Sidney Glass and his fairy tale alter ego, played by the fantastic Giancarlo Esposito of Breaking Bad fame. To this point, in part due to the nature of his character (he’s the face of the Queen’s mirror mirror on the wall), he had been grossly underused. Until now.

Turns out, he wasn’t always trapped in the mirror to advise and be a pithy sidekick to the Evil Queen. He was a genie of Agrabah (the first of many nods and hammers to the head references to Disney’s Aladdin in the episode), who is discovered by guest star Richard Schiff (West Wing) in full blown regent’s regalia as King Leopold, adding yet more royalty to a rather muddled fairy tale hierarchy.

After hearing the Genie’s plight (like everyone else in the show’s two worlds, the Genie just wants to be loved), the King incredulously reveals himself as the greatest human being on the planet. Not only is he completely happy and “wants for nothing,” having found the lamp and given the three wishes by our Genie, he wishes for the genie to be free, and with his second wish, wishes for the genie to have his third and final wish. He didn’t need a whole movie and an accompanied Disney soundtrack to reach enlightenment; he got it done before the credits, and there you have the setup.

Our Genie is tickled, obviously, and vows not to use the wish, because, as any watchers of this show know, magic “always comes with a price.” But we all know this is codswallop. He’s going to use that wish, and (of course) regret it. Things heat up when the Genie follows King Leopold to his kingdom, where we discover that he’s Snow White’s father and is sharing the sheets with the (perhaps) Pre-Evil Queen. Followers of the show know the King meets a tragic end that is one of the catalysts for Snow White’s banishment from the kingdom and subsequently every big event in the series to this point, we just didn’t know how. Rest assured Sleeping Beauty, you will by the end of this episode.

Meanwhile, in the “real” world of Storybrooke, Sidney, no longer the town reporter (“disgraced” is bandied about a lot), approaches Emma Swan (House’s Jennifer Morrison) with a plan to reveal Regina as the, ahem, evil queen that she really is. There’s $50,000 missing in the town’s funds and the records of its transfer are conveniently missing. While they plot against her, Mayor Regina Mills (Lana Barrilla, as always, rocking it) continues her quest to be the world’s worst mother. After a storm hits the town and causes damage to Henry’s “castle” on the beach, she decides to destroy her son favorite hangout spot. The castle was also the hiding spot for the all-important book of fairy tales, and when Henry and Emma reach the construction (or destruction) site, the book is gone. Ruh roh.

As this all happens, Mary Margaret (Ginnifer Goodwin) and David (Josh Dallas), following their first kiss at the end of last episode, continue their adulterous affair (how Grimm and naughty) and a happy ending of their own. At the very least, OUAT is an ingenious cross promotion tool for its sitcom Happy Endings. While I still don’t get the appeal of Goodwin, she’s undeniably solid in the show. Not only does she have to balance two (mostly) unrequited love storylines but also two bad hairstyles.

This episode highlights how far the show has come since its inception. While Emma gets her usual screen time, she is hardly the focus, and other leads’ Snow and ‘James’ Charming are relegated to the background, and the usual writing crutch of using Rumpelstiltskin as the reason for every evil wrinkle in an origin story is forgotten here (though you can’t blame the show; Robert Carlysle as Mr. Gold/Rumpel is a delight and he’s missed in his relative absence), and the result is still a solid romp. There are, of course, flaws. Emma and Henry are terrified of what may happen if Regina gets the book in her clutches, but she’s already had it before, and the important pages about Emma’s true identity have been burned long ago. King Leopold goes from a saint to a pervert who reads other people’s diaries. But it doesn’t distract too much from the action.

The end of the episode has a collection of fair(l)y major implications, from Sidney’s true intentions and more information about the shady new stranger in town (Covert Affairs’ Eion Bailey) to consequences for Emma’s relationship with Henry and of course, how the Genie found himself trapped again, this time, in the Queen’s mirror. It’s a testament to any show when you can make an episode with an obvious ending still prove entertaining, and Once Upon A Time, against all my preconceived notions about it, is just that: a fun way to spend Sunday evening until Mad Men and The Walking Dead return.

Synopsis (courtesy ABC):
“THE RIVER follows the story of wildlife expert and TV personality Emmet Cole. Emmet set course around the world with his wife, Tess, and son, Lincoln, while filming what would become one of the most popular shows in television. After he goes missing deep in the Amazon, his family, friends and crew set out on a mysterious and deadly journey to find him.

Famed explorer Dr. Emmet Cole (Bruce Greenwood) went looking for magic deep in the uncharted Amazon and never returned. The shocking truth about his disappearance is out there, somewhere, just waiting to be discovered. To the millions of kids who grew up watching his nature show, Dr. Cole was a hero. To his own son, Lincoln (Joe Anderson), he was more of an enigma. Now, six months after he vanished, Lincoln is finally ready to bury the past when Dr. Cole’s emergency beacon suddenly goes off. At the urging of his mother, Tess (Leslie Hope), Lincoln reluctantly joins her on a search for his father. To fund the rescue, they agree to let Dr. Cole’s cagey ex-producer, Clark (Paul Blackthorne), film the mission documentary-style. The mixed crew of old friends and new acquaintances includes the sexy and resourceful Lena (Eloise Mumford), loyal mechanic Emilio (Daniel Zacapa) and lethal bodyguard Captain Kurt Brynildson (Thomas Kretschmann).”

(Images: ABC)

Coincidentally, ABC is streaming all seven of the show’s initial episodes for a limited time, so now is your best chance to get caught up on one of the most buzzed about new programs to transition into the new year.

ABC’s brand-new fairy tale drama ONCE UPON A TIME premiered its pilot episode last night, managing to win the network its best ratings performance in regular programming schedule in over three years. The story follows Emma Swan (Jennifer Morrison), the unknowing daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, whom lives in present day Boston. After being approached by a 10-year-old boy named Henry, claiming to be her son given up for adoption, Emma drives the boy back to Storybrooke, Maine, where time supposedly stands still and all the inhabitants of the town are really fairy tale characters.

The premiere is available to watch online here. ONCE UPON A TIME airs on Sundays, 8/7 central.

Did you watch the premiere? Are you interested in where the show is going? Tell us your thoughts in the comments.

Roland Emmerich is working with ABC on a series called 2013, a follow-up to his epic disaster pic, 2012, which hits theaters next week. The TV show will follow the few remaining humans on Earth as they establish their new life in Africa, which is once again the cradle of civilization. In general, Emmerich told i09, he hates sequels, but this is “something different… like Lost, which has a totally different feel to it.” He was also quick to draw comparisons to District 9, citing possible struggles and animosity between the different groups of survivors.

How different will the tone really be? The writer/director insists that “It has no visual effects, it’s all about characters… it will only be what happened between people. We can do that on a TV show week after week after week.”

Hmmm. That’s a big claim coming from a man who has built his career on visual effects, from Independence Day to The Day After Tomorrow to 10,000 BC. But from ABC’s perspective? I’m sure he had them at “like Lost.”

We get to see a fighter jet go down in a crowded city street, its pilot parachuting down, unconscious, a moment later. Then, the first of the ships, which is massive enough to blot out the entire sky, shows up, and there’s plenty of panicking as a number of devious-looking gears shift and lights come on on its underbelly. Then, it’s revealed to be a video screen that spans the entire bottom of the craft, and Morena Baccarin’s face looks benevolently down on the people below. And that’s where they leave us.

It’s a strong opening, and it should slake your thirst, if only for a little while. This is one of the most anticipated sci-fi series in a long time, and tonight, we’ll finally get to see if it’s worthy of all that hype. From just 8 minutes, it’s pretty hard to tell, but I gotta say – I’m lovin’ it so far.